Top Five: Cringiest car merchandise you can buy right now

Stuck for a gift for that car-enthusiast friend who has everything? Here is the top-five branded merchandise you can get that will confuse them and have them question your friendship.

Car companies love branded merchandise – turning customers and fans into brand ambassadors at shopping malls and backyard barbecues across Australia.

And while much of it can be tasteful, some of it can get a little cringey.

Whether you’re looking to show off your love and loyalty for a car company, or if you’re trying to find a gift for that special someone, car-maker merchandise stores can be a good way to get genuine products.

Here are the top five geekiest car-branded gifts you can buy in Australia right now.

5. Mitsubishi Motors luggage tag – $25

Are you a world traveller of fine taste? Then why not add a pebble leather luggage tag debossed with the Mitsubishi Motors corporate logo? Made by J. Holland, the tag also features a polished metal buckle so ensure your bags are never lost in transit while you’re enjoying Premium Economy.

MORE: McLaren GT by MSO: Bespoke luggage set revealed

4. Mercedes-Benz X-Class thongs – $33.42

What better way to show off your love of the Mercedes-Benz X-Class ute than with a pair of black thongs? The X-Class was never a sales success, and as such the ute was axed from the Mercedes-Benz line-up in 2020 – less than three years after its global reveal. But three years on from its discontinuation, and you can still get fan footwear. Or you could just get Nissan Navara thongs for less?

MORE: Is it illegal to drive barefoot or in thongs in Australia?

3. Mercedes-Benz Crystal USB stick – $134.39

We promise we’re not picking Mercedes-Benz. But it’s hard to pass by this 16GB USB stick made by Swarovski with “Crystal Ultrafine Rocks”. Despite being made exclusively for Mercedes-Benz, there doesn’t even appear to be any company branding on the USB stick. For reference, a plain 16GB USB stick is $6.40 from Officeworks.

MORE: These two tiny omissions prove car companies aren’t tech companies at all

2. Toyota Kluger Boules Set – $53.50

Got a penchant for petanque? Got a burning for bocce? Then this Toyota Kluger-branded boules set could be for you, or someone you love. Or hate. Either way, tell that person you think they’re suited to low-impact lawn sports with this gift, available now from the Toyota Australia merchandise store.

MORE: Honda Civic Type R inspires autonomous lawnmower… and now we want one

1. Ford Ranger White Camo Cap – $35

We legitimately love the Ford Ranger, as well as Ford Ranger owners. But if there’s one sure-fire way to get other people to give you a wide berth at that Sunday barbeque, it’s wearing a camouflage baseball cap that says “Live the Ranger life”. Avril Lavigne could get away with wearing camo in 2002, maybe you should give it a pass in 2023.

MORE: Cars and fashion – A complex and mostly awful relationship

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